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مَنْ داهَنَكَ في عَيْبِكَ عابَكَ في غيْبِكَ۔

One who flatters you for your fault, criticizes you in your absence.

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One who flatters you for your fault, criticizes you in your absence.

— Imam Ali a.s.
(Ghurar al-Hikam: Flaws And Faults)

Personal Reflection

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (), his pure progeny, and his noble companions.

The Arabic Hadith of Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) states,

مَنْ داهَنَكَ في عَيْبِكَ عابَكَ في غيْبِكَ۔

This can be translated as,

One who flatters you for your fault, criticizes you in your absence.

This thought-provoking Hadith of Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) highlights the deceptive nature of those who pretend to be supportive and friendly, but in reality, they are only interested in exploiting your weaknesses and exposing them when you are not around.

To understand the deeper meaning of this Hadith, let us analyze the key words used. The word (dahanka) "داهَنَكَ" refers to someone who praises or flatters another person, often insincerely or for personal gain. It implies a false show of admiration or approval. The word (aybika) "عَيْبِكَ" means fault or weakness, indicating a mistake or shortcoming in a person's character or actions. On the other hand, the word (aabaka) "عابَكَ" means to criticize or blame someone, highlighting the act of pointing out someone's faults or shortcomings. Finally, the word (ghaybika) "غيْبِكَ" refers to one's absence or when someone is not present.

To further elucidate the meaning of this Hadith, we can turn to the Quran for guidance. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ) warns us in Surah Al-Hujurat (49:11),

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them.

This verse emphasizes the importance of not mocking or belittling others, as we may not fully comprehend their true worth or potential. Similarly, in Surah Al-Hujurat (49:12), Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ) advises,

And do not backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.

This verse highlights the prohibition of backbiting, which is akin to consuming the flesh of one's brother, an act that is repulsive and detestable.

Imam Ali's (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) Hadith serves as a reminder to Muslims about the importance of sincerity and integrity in our interactions with others. It warns us against those who may appear to be supportive and friendly, but in reality, they are only seeking to exploit our weaknesses and expose them when we are not present. Such individuals may flatter us to gain our trust, but behind our backs, they will criticize and belittle us. This Hadith teaches us to be cautious and discerning in our relationships, to not be deceived by false praise, and to surround ourselves with trustworthy and sincere companions.

The consequences of falling into the trap of those who flatter us for our faults are detrimental. It can lead to a false sense of security and prevent us from recognizing and rectifying our shortcomings. Moreover, it can damage our reputation and relationships when our faults are exposed by those who were pretending to be our well-wishers. This Hadith urges us to be self-reflective, to acknowledge our faults, and to seek improvement sincerely and humbly.

Reflecting on this Hadith, we should strive to be sincere in our interactions with others, both in their presence and absence. We should avoid flattery and insincere praise, as it only serves to deceive and manipulate. Instead, we should offer constructive criticism with kindness and empathy, always seeking the betterment of our fellow Muslims. By embodying the qualities of sincerity, integrity, and genuine concern for others, we can foster a community built on trust, respect, and mutual growth.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ) guide us to be sincere in our interactions and protect us from the deceitful actions of others. May He grant us the wisdom to recognize our faults and the strength to rectify them. Ameen.

. : . (Readers are advised to verify the sources mentioned above, and to independently research for an accurate understanding of Hadith. Remember, personal research and seeking guidance from scholars are essential in gaining a better insight. Please, do contact us if you find any wrong citations or explanations.)

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