Hadith #10866

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. May peace and blessings be upon the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), his noble family, the Ahl al-Bayt (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ), and his companions.

The provided Hadith of Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) states,

Friendship does not become pure [and sincere] with one who is not well-mannered.

This Hadith emphasizes the importance of good manners and etiquette in forming sincere and genuine friendships. Let us delve into the deeper meaning of this Hadith in light of the Quran.

The word (khullah) "خُلَّةُ" in the Hadith refers to friendship or companionship. It signifies a deep and intimate bond between individuals. The word (ghayr adib) "غَيْرِ أَدِيب" translates to

one who is not well-mannered

or

one who lacks etiquette.

It refers to a person who does not possess good character, courtesy, or respect for others.

In the Quran, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ) emphasizes the importance of good manners and treating others with kindness. In Surah Al-Hujurat (49:11), Allah says,

O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers.

This verse highlights the importance of avoiding ridicule, insults, and offensive behavior towards others. It encourages Muslims to treat each other with respect and kindness, regardless of their differences. This aligns with the message of the Hadith, which emphasizes the need for good manners in forming genuine friendships.

Another verse that supports the Hadith is found in Surah Al-Qalam (68:4), where Allah says,

And indeed, you are of a great moral character.

This verse is specifically addressing the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), highlighting his exemplary character. The Prophet's (ﷺ) manners and conduct were of the highest standard, and he serves as a role model for all Muslims. Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ), being the cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet (ﷺ), was also known for his exceptional knowledge, wisdom, and moral character.

Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) understood the importance of good manners in forming sincere friendships. A person who lacks good manners may exhibit behavior that is disrespectful, rude, or harmful to others. Such behavior can undermine the trust and sincerity in a friendship, preventing it from becoming pure and genuine.

For example, imagine a person who constantly interrupts others while they are speaking, shows no empathy or understanding towards their feelings, or engages in gossip and backbiting. These actions demonstrate a lack of respect and consideration for others, making it difficult to establish a sincere and lasting friendship.

On the other hand, a person who possesses good manners and etiquette treats others with kindness, respect, and empathy. They listen attentively, offer support and encouragement, and refrain from engaging in harmful speech or actions. Such behavior fosters trust, understanding, and a sense of genuine connection in a friendship.

In conclusion, the Hadith of Imam Ali (عَلَيْهِ ٱلسَّلَامُ) reminds us of the importance of good manners in forming sincere and genuine friendships. Just as the Quran emphasizes the significance of treating others with kindness and respect, this Hadith highlights the need for well-mannered individuals in our social circles. By embodying the teachings of the Quran and following the example of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and his noble family, we can cultivate friendships that are based on sincerity, trust, and mutual respect. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَىٰ) guide us in embodying good manners and etiquette in all our relationships.